idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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