happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
