the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
