her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
