oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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