When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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