i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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