Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
