her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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