I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
