lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Hippo gnu deer
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Shame - the story of my life.
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