How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
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