im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
