so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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