How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
do herpes really smell.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
