Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
NoShamevember. You game?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
