He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
