Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
