I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We are two peas in an std pod
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
