Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
