how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
