The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
