You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
