Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize