I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
