You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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