Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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