You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
