Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You should frame my arrest warrant.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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