I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
