talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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