I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
