Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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