I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
