are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You've changed since you got that strap on
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
