After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We had to coat check the pizza.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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