Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
