I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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