Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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