Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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