We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just gargled with NyQuil
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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