Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
