He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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