My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
