Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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