I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
