Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
