i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize