I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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