it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
