ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
