i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
